In quite a few of my posts in the last few months, I have been very vague about ‘being really busy’ and ‘having a lot on’ without much of an explanation. In May, my whole life was given an unexpected mix up when I found out that the office I currently work in is going to be relocating to London. Obviously, a massive wave of emotions came over me and I had literally no idea what I was going to do. I don’t deal well with change in general, buying a new foundation is a big step for me, so this was something I was definitely not prepared for.
At first, I considered making the move down to the capital and starting a new life. However, considering I had just moved in with my boyfriend and was absolutely not prepared to leave him behind, this didn’t end up being a viable option. So then came the inevitable “I am losing my job” freak out. I felt completely lost. I felt like it was my fault and I’d let myself down (although it wasn’t my choice) and I had literally no idea what I was going to do next.
Anyone who has involuntarily lost a job will know the feeling I am talking about. Unfortunately, when you complete your education and start life in the working world, a lot of who you are comes from your job. If someone you don’t know too well asks what you do, the answer is usually your job. “What do you do now?” “I work in Digital Marketing” etc. I felt like I was losing a part of my identity and had no idea how to fill the gap that it left.
After a few weeks of intense mood swings, crying and feeling like a pubescent teenager all over again I realised I had to make a plan. Was I A) going to look for a similar job in SEO, B) look for something completely different and have a new start, or do I C) just envelop myself in unemployment and sponge off the boyf for a few months so I can re-watch Grey’s Anatomy? (this didn’t actually sound like a bad choice).
If I’m honest, the jobs I have had in SEO (which started when I finished uni) were never for me. It was great for a while as it paid the bills and I met some lovely people but it was quickly becoming very dull and not at all fulfilling. It was very apparent that the jobs that were easier for me to get would be in SEO, the industry I desperately wanted to avoid. My lack of options was becoming a big weight on my shoulders and I was almost certain that I was going to end up in yet another (my third) job which made me dread the weekdays. This is something I really didn’t want to put myself through. That’s Option A out of the way.
So, then I had a thought about Option B. I could potentially look for a job in a completely different industry and present myself with a whole new challenge. I don’t lack working experience or qualifications so hopefully this should be quite easy? Wrong. I couldn’t imagine myself in any other job. The one thing which I would love a job in and have the skills to do is web development, something which I do in my spare time with gatto and which I really enjoy. Can I get a job in web development? Hell. No. Without a web-related degree or any working experience I got turned down for every opportunity I applied for. Goodbye, Option B.
Finally Option C. Well, if we’re honest this was never a realistic choice (however much I love Grey’s Anatomy). My boyfriend is incredibly supportive and understanding but I could never put that much pressure on him. Also, I genuinely don’t know what I would do with that much spare time.
Back to square one…
I finish my current job on the 31st July and will update you on my situation not too long after that. I am in a much better place since the initial struggle and so can now get back blogging! Finally, I have a plan but can’t disclose anything until my current employment ends so keep your eyes peeled!